Just bloom wherever you are

I came across a screenshot of a tweet from one of my role models, Adv. Thuli Madonsela this past weekend. The tweet read:"Bloom wherever you are." Like most people, I too struggle with contentment issues and find myself postponing my happiness for later because of it. Later when I meet a certain goal, later when I get something that I've always wanted and later just never comes.

This is why I've decided to publish this post. I'm hoping it will serve as a reminder to myself as well as anyone out there who finds themselves waiting for things to be perfect instead of just living in the moment and blooming in their current circumstances. Before I get into the post, I just want to say that blooming where you are isn't settling for mediocrity. It is simply understanding that what you want will come to you in due time if you're working towards it but until then, be happy where you are. Patience is virtue.

Comparison is the thief of joy

I know you've heard it so many times that it's starting to sound cliché but it will always carry an element of truth in it. Comparing yourself to other people will always stop you from being happy and blooming wherever you are. Instead of practicing gratitude and appreciating everything you have, you'll always find yourself dwelling on the negative things in life. This will block your blessings since only a grateful heart can attract positivity and miracles. A few months ago, I saw a picture of one of my favorite influencers with the cutest and longest pineapple puff I had seen in a while. I found myself comparing my hair journey to hers. "Wow her hair looks so bomb and long, after her big chop which was just a few months ago. I've had my hair since fifth grade and it's not even close to looking that good." A few months later, I came across a YouTube video of hers where she showed that her hair is actually a wig. So, I WASTED a few minutes of my life comparing my hair to a wig! The point I'm trying to make is that comparing yourself to people you see on social media is pointless because you don't know their real life circumstances. Even if her hair had been real, comparing it to mine was still going to be pointless because it wouldn't change my hair's length anyway. In a nutshell, stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on yourself.

Own race, own lane, own pace

This is another cliché but true statement. In simple terms it means:

We are all in different races. For example, some people have dreams of becoming artists, while others want to finish school. Since we are in different races, it only makes sense that we each use different lanes so we can all move at our own paces. With that said, comparing yourself to other people is an unfair. We all have different circumstances, backgrounds, dreams, ambitions and so much more. We can't use the same scale to measure our progress because of this. It is impossible for us to lead the same lives. If this is the case, why compare yourself to someone else?

Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy

I'm very guilty of doing this. Instead of focusing on the good, I always find myself finding a reason to complain and be unhappy. The one measure I'm currently taking to avoid this is telling myself to snap out of it whenever I find myself getting these negative thoughts.

It is also important to learn that happiness is an inside job. Nothing outside yourself should be a determining factor for your happiness, not even difficult circumstances. Yes, the situation you're in sucks but life goes on. It's not going to wait for you to get over your pity party. Embracing feelings of sadness is a good thing. However, it is important to make sure that performance and productivity are not the sole purposes for your happiness. Be happy when you aren't being productive too. Remember, what happens to you might not be your fault. How you react to it though is totally up to you.

Stop worrying about the things that you can't change

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. ~ Dr. Maya Angelou

Worrying about things you can't change is a total waste of time because your worries are not going to change the situation. As much as worry comes naturally to us, it's important to train our minds to minimise it or at least channel it in a positive way. Instead of being worried about passing and getting good grades, it's better to focus on studying and being well prepared for an exam. You can't change the outcome of the exam but you can definitely say that you did your utmost best for a positive outcome. If what you can't change is physical, accepting it instead of beating yourself up about it for the rest of your life is a better option. Your "flaws" and insecurities should not define you.

Always look better than your struggles

When it comes to blooming wherever you are, dressing well (which means wearing something that you're comfortable in) and taking good care of yourself are important factors. Looking good will always make you feel good about yourself. Instead of waiting until you complete the 30 Day Weight Loss Challenge or  you get new clothes, work with what you have. Make what you have look good. Take good care of yourself and conquer from the outside if conquering from within is taking too long.

At the end of the day, it's important to remember that life has it's ups and downs. We'll have good days but we'll also have bad ones. Bad situations are part of life and the only thing we can do is make peace with this and not let it steal our joy.

Instead of waiting until your life is perfect (which will never happen), just bloom wherever you are right now. Smile, walk with your held high and allow yourself to be happy to be alive.