Women don't owe you shit!

After my previous blog post regarding gender based violence, I was triggered by so many ignorant things I heard from men. As much as I don't want to write about this topic (because I believe it's pointless), I just had to get this off my chest.

In my previous post I mentioned that parliament is set to debate on whether the Sexual Offenders Register should be made accessible to the public or not. Although I didn't believe that it would eradicate gender based violence completely, I still had hope that it would be utilised by employers to create safer working environments. However, I came across a tweet that made me realise that it won't. Here's why:

The post office is a state owned entity. The state is in possession of the Sexual Offenders Register. Despite this, the post office still hired Luyanda Botha, Uyinene's murderer, who was already on the list! How then is making the register accessible to the public going to benefit any of us?

JJ Tabane was interviewing a man from Sonke Gender Justice on Your View ( Newzroom Afrika) and this man had the nerve to say that men aren't empowered to deal with gender based violence. He said that they don't even know what feminism is. As if that wasn't enough, he went on to say that men don't know when to get involved because they are sometimes told to back off. That statement right there boiled my blood. The only time that men were excluded from a gender based violence march was during last year's shut down in August. This is because women were angry. The last thing they wanted was to be around men at a protest caused by all the things they have put women through. Men who mistreat women. Men who don't call out their friends for mistreating women. Men who turn a blind eye on gender based violence. Fast forward to a whole year later, men are using being excluded on that day as an excuse for not getting involved in the fight against gender based violence. How pathetic! What really upset me is that he, just like most men, thinks that getting involved in protests is "doing something" about gender based violence. Not introspecting, not calling their friends to order, protests.

What he said about men not being empowered really got to me because he's not the first men I've heard with this mentality. If men don't know what feminism is, what should women do about it? Why should it be our responsibility to teach men how to behave and treat human beings with respect, regardless of their gender? And most importantly, why are men never held accountable for their actions?

I also can't get over the fact that the SABC employees who were responsible for "leaking" the president's rehearsal of his nation address on gender based violence were suspended for "sabotage." How is it their fault that the president wasn't speaking from the heart and had to rehearse before getting his speech right?

I refuse to waste my time suggesting measures that men could take in order to end the scourge of gender based violence because they KNOW exactly what should be done. My message is to all the men who aren't "empowered." Empower your damn selves! We women have a lot on our plates and honestly speaking, it's not our responsibility to motivate you to change your shrewd ways. Also if you don't know what feminism is, GOOGLE IT! Women don't owe you shit!