Remember who the f*ck you are!

Hey Bouquet! I hope you're all doing well and taking good care of yourselves. I mentioned that I was in a dark place a few months ago which is why I hadn't posted anything in a while. I've decided to publish this blog post to help anyone else who is going through a rough patch. In this post, I'll be giving advice on how to take back your power and rediscover yourself. I'll also be explaining why I was in a bad mental state during my absence. I hope you find this helpful and decide to join me on this self rediscovery journey that I am embarking on.

As much as I've always been a big advocate for living your life on your own terms, I'm well aware that it's not always that easy. With so much going on in the world, it's so easy to forget who you are and find yourself lost in the chaos. Trying to please everyone and being afraid to disappoint certain people just adds onto that pressure. You have your parents on the one had and societal pressures on the other. This leaves no room for you to even think about yourself or your dreams and aspirations.

For most of my life, one of my biggest challenges has been self doubt. As much as I'm well aware of my capabilities, I sometimes doubt that I am adequate to carry out certain things. I ask myself if I'm pretty, smart or funny enough. Unfortunately, the criticism is internal. Like most people, I am my biggest critic. Starting my blog was a big deal for me because it was something that I had wanted to do for a really long time. However, I wasn't ready for the pressure that I felt after just a few posts. I didn't think I would have that many readers so I wasn't really concerned about my content being "perfect." This is not to say that I didn't care about what I posted. I cared but I didn't feel the need to "perfect" the content for anyone. After my audience started growing, it became more challenging for me to write and come up with content ideas. I started feeling as though my content, as well as my writing were basic and uninteresting. Something that made me so happy started making me feel miserable and anxious.

Due to all the anxiety, I hit a wall creatively and emotionally. There were so many other things happening in my life and the blog was honestly the least of my worries. One of the reasons I stopped publishing advice blog posts was because I felt like a hypocrite. I was giving so much "great" advice that I couldn't even implement myself. I was making self detrimental decisions that I've always advocated against in all my advice blog posts.

Long story short, after months of emotional turmoil, I have made the conscious decision to pull myself out of the dark hole that I have been stuck in and remember who the f*ck I am. Yes, I'm still insecure about a lot of things but I'm taking another conscious decision to learn to live with them, like I have all my life.

I'm well aware of the fact that there are many people out there who can relate to how I feel. I want anyone out there going through a phase where they're are feeling lost to know that they are not alone. I also want you to keep the following things in mind:

You have not come this far, to only come this far
As cliché as this might sound, remembering how far you've come is very helpful. Remembering all the situations you thought would end you will make you realise that resilience is second nature to you. I don't believe that bad situations build character and make you stronger. Instead, I believe that making it through them does.

This too shall pass
Bad situations usually tend to make us forget that they are only temporary. As bad as the situation may be, it's important to keep in mind that it will pass. Yes, it's difficult to do this. However, reminding yourself that you will get through it will be helpful.

Your past does not define you
This might sound cliché as well but your past doesn't define you. All the mistakes and regrets you have shouldn't be a determining factor when it comes to who you are. We all make mistakes. It's a part of being imperfect. Focus on the lessons that you've learned from all your mistakes and keep it moving.

Your opinion of yourself is the most important
Society's ideologies on how you should be living YOUR life shouldn't be any of your business. Yes, we all want to be loved and feel as though we belong but at what cost? Living a life you're proud of is what matters most.

It's okay not to be okay
As an idealist, perfection is second nature to me. This is something that I'm still working hard on overcoming simply because it's unhealthy. I'm starting to learn that it's okay, not be okay. It's okay to feel down about certain things sometimes. There'll be good days, then there will be bad ones. The best part about it is that we still rise above it all.

You are worthy
You are, and always have been worthy. You don't have to conform to societal standards to be deemed worthy. As a matter of fact, you don't have to do anything in order for you to be deemed worthy. Your mere existence makes you worthy.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. I've been feeling really motivated to write more mental self care blog posts lately so you can expect more of that content really soon.

Remember to always be gentle with yourself. You're doing the best you can. Take care.

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